all those bullshit words you felt.
They make up the remainder of our lives.
I've tried to erase you, why won't you just die?
UntitledI wish I was your lab rat,Untitled by themyssing
something that you played with daily.
Poured every inch of yourself into daily.
Obsessed over daily.
Maybe then I wouldn't have turned to addiction,
you could be the one addicted,
and I'd be the one suffering because of it...
Not the other way around.
Instead we dance around how to fix me,
as if I'm a broken china doll someone knocked off the shelf.
You wonder if I'll ever put the bottle down.
If I'll ever stop destroying myself.
If I'll ever be normal again.
I think that's why I hate you.
I was never normal after what happened to me back then.
It was so long ago, to think about it.
I don't think I even know what normal means.
Usable ForcesHow tired the days,Usable Forces by themyssing
How hard it is to be a believer;
Nothing could be worse.
You say not to touch you,
But it's in that voice you get when you lie.
Like there's something you're not telling me.
Like maybe all of my hope is built on...
Trusting in things that don't exist.
And I am tired of the quiet fights,
The unwilling laughter,
The remorse over what we did to each other.
I can't accept that I am a horrible person,
but what I did, what I continue to do...
I have destroyed something beautiful in this world.
How hard it is to be believer...
When I look in the mirror and see a monster.
I ThoughtI thought we ended things a long time agoI Thought by themyssing
When our fights had grown to stale cold matches
Neither of us wanting to give up a win
Neither of us willing to admit to a loss
That was before the headlights
And the unforgiving glances behind us
Where we both spent time wondering where the other one was
where we both gave into wild fantasies of running away
That was when things didn't have to make sense
It was all lust in the park after dark
Without a sense of the damage we were doing to eachother
Without a second thought about the future we were destroying
Cheers To YesterdayDo you remember me?Cheers To Yesterday by themyssing
Back when I was that blonde haired girl
Before the drug addictions
Before the bi polar
Before the long drunk nights
It was all baseball fields
and mom's disappointing grin,
"You are covered in dirt!"
But that was a long time ago
Most days I don't even remember
And then I hear your name
UNTIL MY WEAKNESS IS CLEANSEDPale, slightly sickUNTIL MY WEAKNESS IS CLEANSED by raygore
tearing at the viens
that feed my slick
Exotic words that pour
onto the ground
from my sores
Never heal from hate
I've got a while here
I never knew
could kill me.