themyssing

Do you know what you've lost When you left me behind Mountain streams And steep cliffs Trails between evergreens Tall Winding paths I hope you never spot Another fox in the woods For as long as you live I hope you never see me again Little bear Will you ever find it through Your endless wandering? Little boy Will you ever come home to me? See that all your doubts Were fears I would have laid to rest With my head softly on your chest Smoothing back your hair As I drift off to sleep You've stolen that peace from yourself And from me I pray I'll come home someday to another And you would become a fleeting memory Carried away by the thawing snow

I saw you you were a star bursting into a million colors and heat But people went on with their normal lives amidst concrete I knew better you were an oblivious example of the perfection of Gods creation Yet no one knew to look at you They would never see past their own reflections But... I saw you and marveled at your beauty I appreciated what no one else could see I would have loved you in ways you'd never known

Do you remember skipping rocks across streams Far and wide Sunburnt, summer sights You ran, I chased you I wanted a taste of your life We played tag amidst the trees If I spotted you, you took flight Faster than I thought I could run At night you would disappear And I would wander home alone Solemn that I hadn't caught my game In the morning you would appear again And we would play till the sun set I could never touch you But at times we were close Side by side And wandering aimlessly on worn trails Laughing till the woods were filled with it But then something happened The leaves began to change And when I went to the glade to wait for you

I wish I could run further than across the universe from you Never fleeting glances behind me You would be the headlights following close And I would be the scared girl walking home late Too afraid to look or I might meet my end But forever I will remain curious of you Are you my light to guide me home? Do you watch carefully from afar knowing you can never be near to me? Or are you my last moment An unaware equivalent of a drunk driver? The sleepy trucker behind the wheel? I would follow this dark road Watching only the yellow stripes for reassurance But no matter where you go How far you move away from me I will always carry you in the bac

When the night had peaked Racing to a plane far Removed from you or me That's where we used to live Out witting the sun gods that say we cannot be And when that moment would come That the heavenly fire would begin To stir his head on the horizon One flicker of light dropping Like the funeral bell You would grab my hand and we would run west Till our breath would cease And you would vanish before my eyes With a look of devastation and longing One last kiss as you held my Face in your hands Until I see you again Now I search the night sky Desperately for you But we are lost

Do you drive me mad with blind anticipation       To better serve your ego Or am I a victim of my own obsessive tendencies? Blocking this path of forgiveness       You stand in my way At times unmovable and strong Like a shoulder I can always run to       Other times distant and obscure But terrifying nonetheless And I will shy away from you But do you drive me mad       To give you satisfaction? Or am I a victim and my own mind has played this trick on me? Sleepwalking back to when we first met       My thoughts have plans of their own And they don't play nicely Instead you drive me mad!       Your slightest touch and my skin is on f

So begins this treacherous journey, Where I fight sleep like a child And why? I have no reasons, But I am torn between my desire To dream of your face And my fear that I will dream of your face For upon waking you would be gone And I am left lovesick Like a child once more So without haste I run! Phantom, curse of my imagination- Leave! And torment me no more Take what little hope you've placed in me and Soon I will sleep again In line with my will to feel the darkness and soft blanket kindness of a night of rest

I wish I was your lab rat, something that you played with daily. Poured every inch of yourself into daily. Obsessed over daily. Maybe then I wouldn't have turned to addiction, you could be the one addicted, and I'd be the one suffering because of it... Not the other way around. Instead we dance around how to fix me, as if I'm a broken china doll someone knocked off the shelf. You wonder if I'll ever put the bottle down. If I'll ever stop destroying myself. If I'll ever be normal again. I think that's why I hate you. I was never normal after what happened to me back then. It was so long ago, to think about it. I don't think I even know what

How tired the days, How hard it is to be a believer; Nothing could be worse. You say not to touch you, But it's in that voice you get when you lie. Like there's something you're not telling me. Like maybe all of my hope is built on...   Trusting in things that don't exist. And I am tired of the quiet fights, The unwilling laughter, The remorse over what we did to each other. I can't accept that I am a horrible person, but what I did, what I continue to do...   I have destroyed something beautiful in this world. How hard it is to be believer... When I look in the mirror and see a monster.

I thought we ended things a long time ago When our fights had grown to stale cold matches Neither of us wanting to give up a win Neither of us willing to admit to a loss That was before the headlights And the unforgiving glances behind us Where we both spent time wondering where the other one was where we both gave into wild fantasies of running away That was when things didn't have to make sense It was all lust in the park after dark Without a sense of the damage we were doing to eachother Without a second thought about the future we were destroying