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I wish I was your lab rat,
something that you played with daily.
Poured every inch of yourself into daily.
Obsessed over daily.

Maybe then I wouldn't have turned to addiction,
you could be the one addicted,
and I'd be the one suffering because of it...
Not the other way around.

Instead we dance around how to fix me,
as if I'm a broken china doll someone knocked off the shelf.
You wonder if I'll ever put the bottle down.
If I'll ever stop destroying myself.
If I'll ever be normal again.

I think that's why I hate you.
I was never normal after what happened to me back then.
It was so long ago, to think about it.
I don't think I even know what normal means.